Saturday, April 15, 2017


So today is Aisyah's birthday and ig's feed all full with Aisyah appreciation post wishes. And I couldn't add mine for another one because being me means i dont like being mainstream hahahaha ok this is just another excuse 

I remembered the first time I met adik Aisyah and aisyah was next to her in kmb's kfc and i was like wth seh asal ada dua aisyah ?????? That was mindblown gila hahahah. And I just realized and wondered why there are a lot of aisyah(s) in my life, in btho and seseri I got aisyah habib and then masuk kmb and now studying abroad also got another aisyah kamaludin. I feel like they pass baton. I'm being jinxed by Aisyah(s). People probably think i dont have other friend, ingatkan dua dua ni the same aisyah yang aku spend time from form 2 sampai now dah 21 tahun wow.

But i still insist, if i have daughter in the future i'm not gonna give her name aisyah. Fullstop. Hahahah!

We are just practically different in every sense. She's more outspoken than me and then you know stok stok mulut laser ni dia bantai je semua orang. Debaters yalls. And while there's me mengutuk orang dalam hati instead. Because I don't like the after effects, petty fights, butt hurt. We were deskmates for 2 years, we had the best teamwork ever. I did the thinking part, she would give my answer out loud in the class. THEREFORE, i have shares in most of her answer ok i don't need credits at that time but now i'm lowkey mentioning it lels

She's the king of judging. The first moment she meet new people, she will judge first. Judge yang obvious punya judge, dia akan usha dari atas sampai bawah and her facial expression judging nak mati ah. Aku rasa bawak pergi mandi bunga pun takleh buang that attitude. And me, more to "PBB-like kind of person who love peace", I'll judge diam diam hahahah. 

And the most obvious thing, she was from kisas and I was from seseri 🙊🙊. Geddit? Tak perlu explain kot hahahaha but she never try to kisas-sing me and i couldn't be bothered to seseri-ing her (she already did it by herself anyway so whats the point hahahah) 

Our attempt to be sweet and just see my face yang tak rela omg

But both of us act as if we are tough. But she cries more frequent than me. 

Anyway, mana nak cari kawan yang rela stay with me for another one whole month in London for summer just nak temankan aku and make sure aku tak balik Malaysia sorang this year. Sanggup puasa sini 18 jam when she can actually go back to Malaysia earlier before puasa, but again there's me the painass (ala but anyway she's kisas so why not HAHAHAHHA jk) mana nak cari kawan yang sanggup bayar tickets flight mahal gila compare to org lain sbb again temankan aku. Mana lagi nak cari kawan yang lagi cheapskate or maybe same level of cheapskate as mine hahahah and oso kawan yang sanggup drive dari johor ke selangor sbb nak bawak aku makan hahahaha wth kan mesti org mcm annoying nya syaheera ni??????

When other ppl are pointing fingers on me, there is someone who defend me, yeah that kisas gal.

Ok after reading this post; aisyah at this point i demand for a 3 days return upah drive, fulfill my 3 wishes like aladin, and carikan zauj utk aku ok mungkin kalau kisas carikan dia mujarab sikit hahahaha (i always mess around with her kisas status jk guys memain je!!!)

Ok last but not least that was me quietly walking out of aisyah's life whenever she is embarrassing herself in public. eg: when she tried to order something in starbucks, i just facepalm for whole night 😷😷

friends are friends after all, can't be more can't be less

Monday, March 27, 2017

QM MNight ended!

I'm going to tell you for 1652839th time MNight dah habis lels

And you know MNight already ended and OSCE is approaching in less than 4 days when I (at laaaaaast after idk how many months) washed my dental tunic, bought clinical shoes online instead of new jackets or tops and bothered to watch "how to use dental chair" video on youtube instead of k-shows (cry inside)

^ Gambar hiasan aka sedapkan hati utk ibu ayah so that they know even though I'm busy with unnecessary things and spend half of my day sleeping (and here updating blog for no reason), I still do some works okies #effortcounts 

So basically, I joined MNight because I felt guilty for being such a hopeless and probably least sociable member in the society looool disebabkan aku yang tercampak jauh daripada main campus ni so I hardly know other ppl except the kmbians. So I (for the first time in forever) persuaded myself ala syadin leklu kejap je MNight tolong sikit sikit sudah. 

So yeah I did exactly what I said hahaha sikit-sikit sudah totally means I'm not the one with lines on stage, but still on the stage but to be exact at the BACK stage hahahaha to be frank I'm not thaaaat helpful until the last week of rehearsal (which was a day after aku habis ICA4). This MNight honestly memang last minute (as what other ppl said) so I was in charge with costume team and settle everything like 3 days before D-day wakaka

I went to Imperial MNight before, wowerz jugak since that was my first MNight show. So, being a backstage crew for the first time ni mcm bukak mata aku to the other side point of view, the hard work and efforts behind of everything. Bak kata omputih behind every successful man, there is a woman gitu so I consider the other teams oso veghy veghy important. Bersempitan di sebalik tabir with phone's flashlight, even nak minum air pun had to be careful kang berbunyi pulak botol kembung kempis lels

They put the background in few seconds and later duduk tepi jampi and berdoa tak tercabut hahahaha aku hanya mampu gelak terguling tgk their reaction lels

To see the improvement from the actor actress from the very first day I saw the act (which was a week before D-day loool) to the day of 2 nights show, I knew it would be amazing. Aku ingat lagi I still had that strong impression how best the Imperial MNight was, and then saw they rehearsed and acted for the first time pastu wonder "seriously...........?" and I was wondering twice should I invite my friend or not lol. But then as time went by, I knew it would be as amazing (or way better as feedback from other ppl) as other MNights. 

Still cannot brain with the lighting on the stage ugh whyy but yes one picture from kmbians 😍

My tun tan cheng lock (when she said she gonna be tun tan cheng lock I literally google in front of her to see if the character is a woman or man lels btw supposed to be a man #infosejsyadin)

Even though I was not on stage, at least my overrrrrrrr-sized floral blouse from Primark went on stage 😂. So ppl dont be as dumb and confident as syaheera tajuddin yang beli baju bajet ingat size and then balik was like "ek ehhhhh that was two size bigger ????!" after dah cabut price tag. 

My favourite scene was the one in the court, because that was sooo musical. So during the last night show iolls so sad bye bye fav scene :(

I know more people now ha-ha-ha 😂So I'm not the most useless ppl at the moment, probably the second or third most useless since I didn't do much either muahahah ppl said they are having withdrawal symptoms and comparing with the work that I've done, I dont really need and deserve to have any symptoms loooool but OSCE this week make things worse 😰😰😰 I just dont have any reasons not to study anymore sobs 

QM MNight wrapped with a great success. 

Sunday, March 12, 2017

A good deal procrastination

I just wake up this morning, realize that I have 33 lectures to cover in 4 days (ICA on friday sobs)

and end up in the kitchen (lol) 😅

somehow I want to procrastinate, but still want to do something productive because being a person named syaheera, I sometimes even feel guilty to have a solid 9 hours sleep so yeah at least I deserve to have a decent breakfast and lunch so after 1.5 hours tung tang tung tang in kitchen I finally got a chance to eat......

pancake/crepe/lempeng english/whatever-you-name-it as long as it is food

I just realized to eat grape with this whatever-you-name-it is soooooo good, i am so brilliant in weird way I wish i can be this amazing during my final exam (lol unnecessary self-praise just iklan) i bought grapes from market and masam gilaaa like yes I love it, I can totally eat this kind of grape while finishing my 33 lectures, confirm dari ngantuk terus "terangkat" 

Yesterday I slept 530am uhm nope, not because I was busy revising (ibu called me 9am today and screamed "ya Allah tak bangun lagi budak ni dah pukul berapa ni????") but I blame 200% on youtube ughhhh i should uninstall youtube instead of instagram! Or, maybe i should uninstall both, if only i can uninstall whatsapp as well lol 

I could go from online shopping to ed sheeran's Shape of You at 3am and end up Ted Talk about North Korea at 5am. Random gilaaa, I can't brain myself. 

Trust me, watch this video below. Until the end. THE ENDDDDDDD not when he said thank you but THE ENDDDDDDDDD don't judge his english, he probably had a better grammar than you duhhh (grammar dia ok gila kot) but the content tu pergh i know this is sooo 3 years ago i dont care watch. again.

"Hope kept me alive" "One chicken wing can change your life"

Hati aku yang sebatu sebatu perempuan ni (i didnt cry watching any hindustan movie bhaijan bijan diwale whatever, syurga yang ditinggalkan or dirindukan) but this 13minutes ted talk video make me wailing under my duvet mcm putus cinta or somebody died lels 😭😭😭. Thankgod my flatmate all went back home for weekend 

"They wrote they were fed up with the sameness of everything"

I just feel grateful for what I have right now. Growing up in Malaysia is a nikmat but then somebody just don't realize it, they say they want sameness but can they afford the sameness 😷? Sameness here might be in different context but still can you deal with it? zz #bebelsyadindipagihari

goodluck syadin!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017


(quickly writing this since lecture ends a bit early but still need to stay back because after this have this odd lecture but still waiting, probably have a lot of freebies such as free colgate and sensodyne so 🙊🙊)

I'm kind of impressed with my selfie skill

thanks for 11 years of practicing selfie (minus 10years from my age since theres no selfie when I was a kid)

last week early morning breakfast with the other malaysian dental students. I think they are legit nice person, especially when they are willing to wake up early on sunday just for a breakfast hahahaha.
Even I need to restrain myself from sleeping after subuh and end up playing games for 2 hrs because even if I wanted to sleep for one hour, it would end up 4 hrs instead. 

We study at the same dental hospital (except if upper year need to do clinical in other clinics) but we hardly see each other lels. At all. to the extent kak adeela ws me asking if i'm ok and hows my study progressing since we didn't meet and I replied "yes okay at least I'm still alive". Since we haven't meet for so long so there was alot things to chat and sembang sampai we stayed in Malaysian Hall for almost 4 hours

So before this we had dinner when I first came, but last weekend we had breakfast to wish goodluck for Abigail's last year final exam. She already fifth year and almost graduate and theres me...... 1st year *sigh* I love how they always pass down all the files such as revisions or question papers to the lower year it looks like a legacy thingy that revolve only within us lels. 

I remembered our last dinner, they sound sooo dentist using all these complex abbreviations and I, who just arrived for few weeks, didn't understand at all :)) But now I could somehow understand most of what were they talking and laughing as well, it kinds of fun gila to hear their clinical story and I can see myself doing more embarrassing syadin-dumb-and-dumber part 2387956 in clinics. 

We supposed to come in earlier than abigail since we need to write something on her goodluck card but then abigail came earlier than most of us.  And the card lol 😆😆 so when she came I was like hahahahah mission fail and hanya mampu berhuhuhu. So we end up quietly write on the card below the table, in front of abigail (probabyly) without her noticing hahah i crey so cute

I can't imagine myself doing my first extraction 😱😱. I can't imagine myself on the 5th year lol. I cant imagine myself graduate with wrinkles on my face and gray hair *cry inside* So the thought of abigail almost completing her course already make me feel happy and proud for her. All the best and congrats for getting job placement in uk! wuuuuuu 💞

Monday, March 6, 2017

mad skill

I still respect and salute those ppl who release their stress by cooking. Baking tu mcm boleh go lagi ah tapi memasak tu mcm lagi memberi stress kepada aku hahahah. And i used to dream to be a hsewife, nasib baik aku masih boleh ukur baju di badan sendiri gitu. Most of my classmates from lower form high school already knew my hopeless skills in cooking/ whatever-about-kitchen and they still make fun of it (sampai sekarang duk ungkit insiden air gula aku tak sudah). 

Tapi syaheera yang dulu bukanlah yang sekarang. Aku akan bangun pagi awal especially on weekend to cook and have a decent meal. But then one of my flatmate's friend came into the kitchen and then she asked me

"Aw do you enjoy cooking?"

"Er lol no, i cook just to survive"

Maka berdekah lah this girl dengar jawapan aku yang paksa rela ni apa yg lawak pun aku wonder gak

But then, now aku try utk meminatkan diri and masak dgn rela anytime aku ada masa, kalau class habis awal ke. Aku still amaze mcm mana kita campak campak bahan dia boleh jadi sejenis lauk mcm magic pulak. Now boleh lah masak untuk diri sendiri, itu pun lepas google resipi mcm "resepi ______ paling mudah" HAHAHAH paling mudah tu kena ada sebab syaheera is being syaheera. takda masa aku nak buat grand grand padahal utk diri sendiri je, masa pun takda, malas satu hal

But then ibu mesti akan supervise masakan aku, walaupun dari jauh. Letak gula lah garam lah air lah, buat aku wonder mcm mana ibu tahu masakan aku tawar ke kita record video keluar bau ke sense of taste ke? Tak mustahil 2020 whatsapp update ada send bau wakaka

And today aku masak salmon asam pedas (lol) and sup ayam, then ibu comment pasal rempah but i can't relate #ibuperluredha

masalah "rempah empat beradik" 🙈

tu takda hal lah, ni aku panggil bunga lawang jadi bunga kelawang hahahaha ko kenapa din


let's hope this gal will get the hang of it

Thursday, March 2, 2017

we met, we tried

Piccadilly circus 27022017

Last weekend kan, seniors inform the first year dieorang nak tolong for our upcoming osce exam. Osce ni mcm oral clinical exam lah senang cerita. Masalah nya benda alah tu dia buat hari ahad so aku mcm berfikir nak pergi ke tak, nak ke taaaaak tapi mcm biasalah syaheera is being syaheera, nak buat salah pun bersalah gituw (cc bakal bakal mak mentua) so i just went while dragging mah both feet

So aku igt haritu dia just nak explain osce tu apa jadah rupanya ada mock sekali..... literally mock yg ada soalan each station and kau kena jawab. So ada 12 stations (kot) in a circuit, then station yg aku paling tak suka bila part dapat few scenario contohnya kita jumpa patients pastu kena selesaikan masalah dia.

Aku dah lah bangun pagi tu, nak aku selesaikan masalah org T_T and aku ni pulak mmg species yg ada 0% general knowledge about dentistry ( aku tak tahu what the hell is impression, i thought that first bad "impression" kind of thing but nahh. The only thing yg aku tahu kena gosok gigi 2 kali sehari that's it lol) pastu datang pulak mock osce mati lah aku

Bila kau ada 1 minute je nak baca scenario then kena hadap muka senior, dpt pulak white ppl berturut turut haaa entah kau faham ke dok aku mengarut nasib lah nak (dlm diam aku harap dia tak faham tp faham lah pulak). Ada 3 consecutive stations yg mindblow gila, tp aku mcm takpa syadin chill je ingat kat kmb kita belajar "kau taktahu kau goreng je elok elok confident tu penting!!!"

Aku  mcm siot jugak lah selalu buy time by kept  asking the patient questions  so sementara tu aku fikir dlm kepala otak dgn gelabah AIYO IBUUU WHAT I NEED TO ASK AFTER THIS!!!! Aku punya intro kenal kan diri je dah amik 30 saat (hehehehe) so bila dah hbis mengarut tu aku mcm just goreng je ah syadin nak buat mcm mana insyaAllah dia tak faham kau cakap apa, muka pokerface tu penting

Tapi aku terlupa lah diaorg ni semua 4th year students hahahah dia trap aku baik punyaaaa, aku punya process goreng tu masa minyak over panas so bukan setakat hangus tp rentung dah hahahah. Lets say aku bg 8 solutions or suggestions utk patient tu, 3 je betul lain semua info salah yg aku reka and buat theory sendiri, and the senior wrote feedbacks for everything i said what was wrong and which was right hahahah rip my future patients wakakaka mesti dlm hati dieorang bapak confident minah ni dgn poker face nya padahal semua salah

That's my syadin-feels-dumb part 783940, It's ok sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

feel geeeeewd

I feel sooooo loved today. Just another day full with blessings, one after another yass even the little things! 

Today we had our presentation, and everyone literally had fun with this one yang mmg no pressure sbb this one takda carry marks and "just for fun" kind of presentation. So another big thing crossed out

A senior smiled and said hi back hahahahah i feel like my existence is indeed significant and bangga ah sikit sbb aku dah start ingat muka org, the last two times aku tak ingat muka senior............ jahat gila tapi aku tahu problem aku since seseri anyway and i felt so bad but today is an exception bruh

So harini the presentation session should be done by 1230pm but then dah habis on 11am hahahah gila ah literally each group buat in 5-10 minutes mmg tak ikhlas punya presentation ah, so we decided to go out of whitechapel and went all the way to central! Satu benda je yg aku risau kalau pergi central ni, mana aku nak solat hmmmm and I'm the only muslim among the 4 girls. nak cari fitting room pun mcm sometimes the workers kat situ terlebih friendly sampai dia akan usher ke fitting room and tanya "is everything ok" and panic bila aku tak jawab instantaneously sbb tgh solat lah kan so yeah 

BUT THEN THEY ARE SOOOOO UNDERSTANDING I CREY sbb masa tgh plan nak pergi central tu diaorg akan tanya aku dulu "when is your praying time? can you pray now or you have to wait?" terkezut iolls hahahaha sbb before ni kalau mkn during lunchtime with them aku akan rushing after makan sbb kena find a place to solat. 

And then one of them legit google kan utk aku praying room in central and found this one islamic centre in soho 😭😭😭 iolls so terharu sbb i was expecting myself to go to any random fitting rooms but she knew how to settle it waaaay better than me lels. And we off to leicester square and kena jalan for 15 minutes to go to the islamic center, and dia insist nak teman aku sbb the other two tak sampai lagi. Aku bgtahu it's ok i can find any fitting room and she said it's ok just pray at the prayer room there, no need to feel rush and pressure :( 

And bila dah jumpa tu, dia cakap dia tunggu dekat entrance je but then aku cakap lah it's okay boleh masuk and ddk situ while waiting for me sbb takkan lah aku nak biarkan dia sorang kat luar. Dia cakap boleh ke masuk hahahaha i said yass of course aku pun boleh masuk church dont worry hahahahah wth aku bab bab done dakwah ni mmg fail sikit hadis di dada tak berapa nak cukup utk support aku. And she felt soooo amazed to be in a big surau for the first time. Glad that she was fine with it! Diaorg mcm faham gila and sometimes dieorang yang tegur aku kalau aku ada bad hijab day and rambut terkeluar so i felt very grateful, this is all little things that feel like a blessing for me couldnt ask for more :(

And we went to japanese restaurant, I had salmon bento sedap gilaaaa. And dieorang dah faham sangat dgn aku yang tak makan veggies ni so dieorang selalu wonder apahal aku tak makan sayur, ibu ayah makan sayur tak,  aku ada constipation tak (wth hahahha), nanti dah ada anak mcm mana nak didik dia makan sayur (and aku reply "Then I would be the coolest mom ever I'm not going to force them to eat any veggies and be like me") and they insist me to try eat salad so aku try lah makan this small portion tapi dieorang gelak gila tgk reaction aku lels, salad is a big no-no for me. even though dieorang bising, dieorang still amik all my veggies portion ahhahaha call me weird or wth but i feel so loved bila aku tak makan that one thing and another person will finish it for meh 

Lepastu turned out dieorang ni matcha freak tau aduhai, aku ni pulak mmg matcha matcha ni aku tolak tepi. Not a tea-fan, so do you expect me to love matcha (?) aku masuk kedai tu je aku dah tanya ni kedai greentea ke kedai seaweed hahahahah bau dia mcm masuk ke hidung gitu. Dieorang insist aku try matcha in taster cup so aku try lah tp aku bebetul takleh braaaain literally rasa mcm seaweed di tastebud aku hahahaha asal lah org suka (?) So sbb aku betul betul tak suka, one of them bawak aku pergi next store yang jual frozen yogurt and got one for me! That's totally another blessing that need to be counted 😉 

when i count my blessing, i count you twice!