Wednesday, February 8, 2017

feel geeeeewd

I feel sooooo loved today. Just another day full with blessings, one after another yass even the little things! 

Today we had our presentation, and everyone literally had fun with this one yang mmg no pressure sbb this one takda carry marks and "just for fun" kind of presentation. So another big thing crossed out

A senior smiled and said hi back hahahahah i feel like my existence is indeed significant and bangga ah sikit sbb aku dah start ingat muka org, the last two times aku tak ingat muka senior............ jahat gila tapi aku tahu problem aku since seseri anyway and i felt so bad but today is an exception bruh

So harini the presentation session should be done by 1230pm but then dah habis on 11am hahahah gila ah literally each group buat in 5-10 minutes mmg tak ikhlas punya presentation ah, so we decided to go out of whitechapel and went all the way to central! Satu benda je yg aku risau kalau pergi central ni, mana aku nak solat hmmmm and I'm the only muslim among the 4 girls. nak cari fitting room pun mcm sometimes the workers kat situ terlebih friendly sampai dia akan usher ke fitting room and tanya "is everything ok" and panic bila aku tak jawab instantaneously sbb tgh solat lah kan so yeah 

BUT THEN THEY ARE SOOOOO UNDERSTANDING I CREY sbb masa tgh plan nak pergi central tu diaorg akan tanya aku dulu "when is your praying time? can you pray now or you have to wait?" terkezut iolls hahahaha sbb before ni kalau mkn during lunchtime with them aku akan rushing after makan sbb kena find a place to solat. 

And then one of them legit google kan utk aku praying room in central and found this one islamic centre in soho 😭😭😭 iolls so terharu sbb i was expecting myself to go to any random fitting rooms but she knew how to settle it waaaay better than me lels. And we off to leicester square and kena jalan for 15 minutes to go to the islamic center, and dia insist nak teman aku sbb the other two tak sampai lagi. Aku bgtahu it's ok i can find any fitting room and she said it's ok just pray at the prayer room there, no need to feel rush and pressure :( 

And bila dah jumpa tu, dia cakap dia tunggu dekat entrance je but then aku cakap lah it's okay boleh masuk and ddk situ while waiting for me sbb takkan lah aku nak biarkan dia sorang kat luar. Dia cakap boleh ke masuk hahahaha i said yass of course aku pun boleh masuk church dont worry hahahahah wth aku bab bab done dakwah ni mmg fail sikit hadis di dada tak berapa nak cukup utk support aku. And she felt soooo amazed to be in a big surau for the first time. Glad that she was fine with it! Diaorg mcm faham gila and sometimes dieorang yang tegur aku kalau aku ada bad hijab day and rambut terkeluar so i felt very grateful, this is all little things that feel like a blessing for me couldnt ask for more :(

And we went to japanese restaurant, I had salmon bento sedap gilaaaa. And dieorang dah faham sangat dgn aku yang tak makan veggies ni so dieorang selalu wonder apahal aku tak makan sayur, ibu ayah makan sayur tak,  aku ada constipation tak (wth hahahha), nanti dah ada anak mcm mana nak didik dia makan sayur (and aku reply "Then I would be the coolest mom ever I'm not going to force them to eat any veggies and be like me") and they insist me to try eat salad so aku try lah makan this small portion tapi dieorang gelak gila tgk reaction aku lels, salad is a big no-no for me. even though dieorang bising, dieorang still amik all my veggies portion ahhahaha call me weird or wth but i feel so loved bila aku tak makan that one thing and another person will finish it for meh 

Lepastu turned out dieorang ni matcha freak tau aduhai, aku ni pulak mmg matcha matcha ni aku tolak tepi. Not a tea-fan, so do you expect me to love matcha (?) aku masuk kedai tu je aku dah tanya ni kedai greentea ke kedai seaweed hahahahah bau dia mcm masuk ke hidung gitu. Dieorang insist aku try matcha in taster cup so aku try lah tp aku bebetul takleh braaaain literally rasa mcm seaweed di tastebud aku hahahaha asal lah org suka (?) So sbb aku betul betul tak suka, one of them bawak aku pergi next store yang jual frozen yogurt and got one for me! That's totally another blessing that need to be counted πŸ˜‰ 

when i count my blessing, i count you twice!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017


Guess who ady finished with her SBL3 and ICA3?!? It's meeeeeeh i'm back yalls at last i'm here to sort back my life and make sure everything is on track. And have one whole week self-reward and enjoying my #postICA moments before gather back all my senses that SBL4 and ICA4 are just in one month time duh no chill gilaaaa!!

So yeah today class end a bit early, habis 1pm dah macam wow nak buat kenduri pulut kuning! (harapaaaan) so aku kemas balik bilik aku yang never disappointing me in showing the ICA mode turn on. So usually I have this routine of masak everything on weekend, do laundry, shopping for groceries etc. Tapi now selasa baru ada masa nak fikir "my well-being is my priorities" so my cooking routine yang a bit overdue compensate dgn masak dua lauk sekali gus, definitely hashtag productive hashtag semangat membara hashtag postICA 

I even bought my tickets back to Malaysia for summer holiday yaaaaaaaaaaAAAAYYY that's totally my epitome of productive lah yang takleh bawak bincang. Ayah duk pressure "Eera bila nak beli ticket!!!" "Eera, tadi ayah check ticket mcm murah!" "Eera pls check website ni for tickets" and i was like AYAAAAH OK OK AFTER ICA OK (jangan procrastinate revise ya rakan rakan, nanti jadi mcm iolls) 

Oh and since kmb kan, aku ada this week of "puasa korea" which aku tak boleh tgk k-shows or dramas and not even listen to a single korean songs a week before exam. That's how pathetic my life is hahah kalau tak my iman turun naik and takkan tetap, will end up spending hours watching them and lagu akan terngiang ngiang to the extent it was sooo distracting sampai aku buat exam background lagu exo pergh amik kau! So now, it's time to get back on track and buka puasa sekarang yay!

Last weekend, Aisyah and Su were here in London! Lepastu kan lepas diaorang balik bilik terus rasa sunyi :( haih mcm tu lah rasa bila parents went back to Malaysia, tiba tiba rasa bilik aku yang sekangkang kera ni mcm besar je and sunyi 😭But guys, I promise you guys my guest service would be waaaaaaaay tip top than that day if you guys come again and not during my weekend ICA :( Datang lagi okies

I brought Aisyah to eat burger and lobster 😍😍And yeah aku sebagai ahli active club the cheapskate; Malaysian in London edition, burger & lobster is waaaay out of my budget. That was my first time there even though i've been here for almost 5 months ady. So aku decide since aku dah berjimat for almost 4 months straight, this february is gonna be my bulan segala pembaziran dan enjoy. Plus, they were coming as well so I might just join them enjoy all the money sementara aku ada kawan nak berhu-haaaa. 

And aku a bit strict in sorting living expenses yang orang akan wonder asal jimat sangat dia ni, i'm totally not going (insyaAllah in the future as well) to ask extra money from parents cmon guys we are 21 already! But since everyone dah enjoy duit sponsor awal awal and now dlm kesempitan hidup, my heart feel at ease the fact that I still got some money to enjoy at the end of the month. Delayed gratification isn't it!!!!!?

Papehal pun sedap doh lobster dia, rasa mcm lobster...... (lobster mmg lah rasa lobster wth)

Dalam bilik aku ada this map of London, and then if I go to a place aku akan mark the map with thumbtack acah "I've been there" gitu so there's alway some place yang aku reserve and tak pergi lagi so that I can go with my friends when they are coming to London. So baru seghonok bila explore london sama sama instead of "aku dah pergi sini 9 kali dah bawak org" hehehe but thats not applicable to cliche tourist attraction mcm big ben lah buckingham palace, tower bridge dah mcm yeah im here.... again :)

Tapi the downside of me being a tourist guide is- half of the pictures in the camera gallery is not the tourists' picture but mine hahahahah sampai aisyah tak tahu lah siapa yang baru sampai london sbb gambar aku sama banyak dgn gambar dia. Ye laaah bawak lain orang feeling dia lain ye dokkk?

But I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally love M&M world and still cant get over it 

Syurga duniyaaaaaaaaa

The mix colour

And the customize one!

Definitely gonna give this to my future children (acah) and tell them be proud superkid, you are supereera's son or daughter for a reason ya know *cringe gila* 

Excuse me for my existence *face palm*

And next to this green m&m kan ada this one part where you kind of scan yourself and then there's machine that tell you what is your colour mood for today, and we both got blue!!! I got blue, Aisyah got light blue. Blue is something about cool and stylish so aku mcm penipu gila machine ni but sokey that comforts me well and enough to make my day πŸ™ˆ Light blue is something about expecting new challenges in life etc

And then the next store, there are lego store and nickelodeon but i'm not a big fan almaklum lah dibesarkan main batu seremban tanah liat dan kartun anak-anak sidek *giggles*

really love the front back view, it is all made by lego peh aku main setakat jadi kubu pertahanan pun dah bangga dah lol

Apahal do dia ni.........

And baru sedar that if I'm not going to be a dentist, I should do voice over for cartoon! lols baru sedar aku boleh tiru suara The Map dalam cartoon Dora the Explorer, so we went out from the nickelodeon store with me who felt ecstatic and non-stop nyanyi lagu "i'm the map, i'm the map, IM THE MAAAAP!!!" sampai aisyah stress 😈

Me fetauring Aisyah yang stress

And later su pulak sampaaaai but we didnt have many decent pictures sbb su datang terus jemah ya Allah terus susah nak tidur bila gossip diutamakan ni 

I’m used to it, the footsteps coming and going, the goodbyes

Thursday, January 26, 2017


Lately, my sleep cycle is no longer a cycle. Dah macam reversible reaction yg ulang alik, hah ambik kau hahahaha. Sleep awake sleep awake sleep awake. Harini dah 3 kali aku tidur, it didn't sounds like a nap but not really a long sleep. Maybe because of 2 nights stay up so the body has its after effects not the next day but a few days after. Nasib baik ibu call me everyday for subuh kalau tak..... *sigh*

Last few daaaays kan, I had this practical for OSCE in mile end. The bad side was this gonna be a day of almost 1 hour return walk, the bright side; walk is the one and only exercise i'll be having in london hahahaha totally not gonna spend money on gym! Practical tu best gilaaaaa omg (for me the noOb), even though it was only auscultation and measure blood pressure hahaha. 

Best because that was literally the first time eveeeeeer I used stethoscope (kot of course the legit stethoscope lahh not the one Qaseh punya mainan) and machine blood pressure yang pump pump tu. Before this seseri's lab just ada the automatic blood pressure machine so thats not fuuuun. The "sphygmomanometer" (literally google sbb tak reti eja) tu kitaorg tak baca the manual how to use so just main guna sbb nak "fun learning", so my coursemate dia salah buat so it didnt constrict the blood vessels but then the straps suddenly inflated so dah mcm balloon dah lels. They even pump so hard sampai in position nak pump chest for cpr hahah thank god im not dumb alone

And we wonder what if this happens in real life in front of the patients hahahah mesti patients mcm tak menyakin kan nyaaa dia ni biar betul.......

And kena cari heart pulse at the wrist and it kinds of normal bila susah nak jumpa heart pulse tu. Aku pun tak perasan everytime cari for the pulse, aku buat this one facial expression yang mcm apahal-tak-jumpa-do face, so dieorang gelak mcm tak igt dunia dah. Kalau tak jumpa jugak start dah buat drama "are you goblin?" "uhm, sir i think my patient is a ghost. there's no pulse at all" 

paling jakun when i used the pink stethoscope and then letak on my chest. The sounds of the pumping heart is sooooo πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“ especially when it's my own heart hahaha i couldnt stop listen to it, the im-proud-of-my-heart-it-beats-for-20years moment serious takleh blaaah. Rasa macam jagebang sangat (jakun gembira bangga lels)

So yeah love yourself yeah (tiba tiba lol), if you feel penat hidup yang takda makna or lost in the pain of heart break tu remember at least you can sleep to hve a rest and have brand new day but your heart never had a chance at all. So be grateful! Hashtag tazkirah drpd osazah syadin

-anyway, one thing that I can't brain everytime i ask questions to the lecturer, they alwaaaays ask me back "hm what do you think" dlm hati aku dah ya Allah kalau aku tahu lah jawapan im not here, nak fikir apa pun tak tahu dah - so, my response always something that worth a face palm 😎😎😎

agi idup agi ngelaban for the upcoming exam!

Thursday, January 19, 2017

One second thought

Because if you don't believe in yourself, then who else will?

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Golden days

Aisyah send me pictures of rant notes i made for her masa dia tidur terbongkang when we were still in Seseri, probably few last days we spent in our own dorm and slept next to each other before kena halau and tumpang pergi block A/B. 

Masa aku baca i was like HAHAHHAHAHAA WTH SYAHEERA?

the accuracy is sooooo insane!!!!!! 

look at my doodle ok how i describe betapa lasak nya aisyah and sopannya aku thats a big deal do

the accuracy!!!!!! Ni real story do hahaha masa ni mesti aku mcm dah immune punya fed up sebab selalu kena kacau bila baca novel kan aisyah duk potpetpotpet. Novel yang aku boleh khatam satu malam pun boleh kena extend kalau dia tak tidur lagi! 

I miss high schooooool :( Boarding school, the dorm life, the 20 different attitudes we need to deal since each ppl will alwaaaaaays behave differently. Those days when we stayed up together next to tingkap, thats the only light source sbb after 11 dah lights off (and then rabun aku drpd rabun rabun manja dah rabun giant punya nak makan pun takleh beza ni asam keping ke isi ayam wth) and share toilet with the whole floor!!! 

And i missed messing around with Aisyah, dorm mates and nina sobs

Tapi betul lah no matter how hard + exhausting your situation is right now just remember one day in the future you know you will look back at this moment and laugh at it. I made it. 

Monday, January 16, 2017


Aku punya pemalas nak update blog tu dah tak boleh nak dibendung lagi hhahahah last week i promised myself to post something this weekend tapi sekarang dah isnin wakakaka hence this gonna be a short mumbling session sebab if aku cakap update nanti lah idk when is nanti probably next week next month or next year

Aku scroll lah camera roll then mengenang nasib tengok gambar gambar winter break eyyy seghonok kau ye berjimba tak igt dunia sekarang ternganga dgn lecture notes tak habis habis gambar tengkorak, presentations, essays and group discussion tak sudah zzz. Aku rasa i did a good job to have 250% of my time enjoying my winter break and put everything last minute then cuti dah habis gelabah ayam  stay up siapkan kerja yg tak habis wakaka

Haritu pergi ireland for one week, and then balik london sbb family datang. Tu lah aku punya 1st time trip yang hashtag solo hashtag loneranger hashtag mati kau tertinggal flight menangis lah tepi lift. So dia punya anxiety tu mcm lebih sikit. Dah lah beli ticket flight tapi lupa beli ticket bas?? Mmg agaknya aku ingat boleh guna pintu sukahati kot or rasa mcm airport ni belakang rumah ke mcm mana taktahu lah

So bila anxiety terlebih ni haaa suruh lah ibu kejut pukul 430am then set lah alarm beratur interval 3 mins, mindset tidur tak nyenyak takpa nanti dlm bas dlm flight kau nak tidur sukahati lah. Bangun punya awal, kalau aku boleh bangun seawal tu utk class dan bukan masuk lecture bila lecturer dah habis baca learning objectives mungkin result aku tak cukup cukup makan mcm sekarang hahaha opps

Pendek cerita semua ok lah the gelabah syadin didnt miss her bus or flight or wtv she stayed at galway for 1 week jadi bibik utk aisyah yang tak hbis exam lagi (like literally a bibik who woke up early in the morning masak sarapan lunch whatnot coz yeah i maybe useless & hopeless but im a good friend *muka yakin lepas tertinggal barang aisyah kirim bawah katil sbb anxious gila takut tertnggal bas flight*)

The good thing was nak balik london balik tu i was not alone. Went to dublin airport dgn aisyah sbb dia pun nak balik msia (booooo balik msia time winter anak manja anak manja *said by a person yg family dtg lels dua kali lima*) so masa nak pi dublin tu turun bas dekat airport. Then pergi lah toilet dgn aisyah sbb tunggu Su and flight dia delayed. Masa tu bebetul tak tahan ni nak pi toilet tak kisah lah toilet tutup pun aku rempuh jugak

(gambar iklan M14E sebab kekadang rindu kekadang tak)

Dah masuk toilet tu aisyah masuk dulu aku tunggu dekat sinki. And toilet tu kosong, ada aku dgn aisyah je. Maybe sbb masa tu dah almost midnight kot. So sinki tu banyak lah dlm 5 ke enam sinki and aku berdiri depan sinki yang paling dalam and jauh drpd pintu masuk. Basuh lah tgn and sedar yang sinki ni guna sensor, bagus lah kan takda lah kotor kena pegang handle

Perempuan kan mmg aku pun tak faham lah dia guna toilet ke renovate toilet so aku sabar je lah dgn aisyah ni. Betulkan tudung yada yada then tiba tiba the first sinki next to the entrance keluar air. But there was no one there. I was like damn..... siapa... asal air keluar... lama pulak tu biadap betul.... Aku dah gelabah dlm kepala otak dah mcm mcm episode misteri nusantara aku flashback hahaha segala tok nenek cerita hantu asrama aku teringat.

And i was like chill syadin chill jangan gelabah sangat. Sbb dlm banyak banyak cerita hantu aku paling takleh brain dgn cerita yang hantu yang bila org dah rasa soemthing wrong hantu tu tanya "dah tahu ke" sO I WAS LIKE BUAT BUAT TAK TAHU FACIAL EXPRESSION KAU CONTROL OK JGN OBVIOUS tapi suara ketar panggil "aisyah....?" (This was just to check aisyah still hidup and i was not alone in the toilet yas im drama queen just like that)

Time tu drpd rasa nak pi toilet aku dah tak rasa apa dah hahahaha aisyah keluar marah dia "kau cepat sikit boleh tak" and still tahan FACIAL EXPRESSION CONTROL OK PLS MAINTAIN then dah keluar toilet agak agak mcm dah jauh terus AISYAH KAU NAK TAHU TAK AIR SINKI TU KELUAR TAPI TAKDA SAPA DEPAN SINKI TU WEHHHH ASAL KAU LAMA SANGAT DLM TOILET AKU MCM NAK MATI DAH

Therefore aku kena fikir balik kalau nak acah buat solo trip ni. Bukan setakat takut pickpocket and terlepas bas flight, aku juga takut hantu secara tiba tiba.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Winter break; Nottingham Games

Since I have a lot of stupid things to rant but have no time to do so I'm going to put the pictures instead! Almost decided not to post anything about the winter break but since short term memory otak aku ni mcm full of doubts sikit so gonna put something at least not going to forget all these little happy things that happened

Notts games is all about whatever-you-name-it-reunion, honestly.

Seserian's estrella love (a lot more missing)

Childhood btho peeps

Pain in the ass kmb's M14E

And there's a looooot more pictures tapi tak dan laaah nak upload everything! That day my social quota totally exceed seh hahah you said hi to your friend then jalan 20 langkah jumpa another pulak. To the extent Su and Aida dah penat nak tunggu and stop until everyone done with their chitchat. 

Malaysian Games is all about food 
(bit expensive than masak sendiri but still it is malaysian food)

I ate my first nasi kerabu, eveeeeer

And of course, it is all about the games!

QM's frisbee team! (um dont ask if we win since i think obviously........?? jk we lose)

Stayed 2 nights dekat rumah Su and her hospitality was totally tip top cun because it is Su okay what do you expect, plus that was the first time 3 of us jumpa in uk and weolls minority since most of our classmates further their study in Ireland. Jalan jumpa menjerit from one end to another end. We talked aloooot sampai waiter restaurant tanya "are u guys chinese?" and I was like LOOOOOOL?? Do we even look like chincese? He said just because we talk so fast like cincau cincauuu hahah. We havent meet for months maybe that's why the inner jemah already out sampai terkejut the locals wakaka 

Su even woke up early in the morning, cooked, packed lunch and brought us picnic in Wallaton Park? Iolls cried a niagara falls iolls so terharu

In front of batman's house, said the person who never watch batman before *proud grin*