Snapshot 2020: Covid

Today is the 2nd last day of 2020, and i didnt write anything on this blog at all this year. Not even a post. Lowkey feel really BAD, bukan level two-timing dua laki tapi ni dah level senyap senyap kahwin lari dekat Siam tinggalkan kekasih lama *drama queen iz back yalls*

That also means i just opened this account again after a year, and just accept few comments that was left in 2019. Huh the audacity, padahal dulu everything revolves around this blog. Not even a single post for 2020, as if takda benda jadi kat 2020. Nope, not in million years I'll ever forget what happened in 2020 after sooooo many things happened. 

Both of us celebrating New Year Eve, watching fireworks in Salzburg, Austria thinking 2020 is gonna be awesome. 

Never have I ever thought that I gonna experience a pandemic in my life. My family and I was kinda affected by this pandemic. I never disclose to anyone what happened (even to my close friends, bcs I witnessed betapa tak boleh percaya nya manusia 2020 ni). But sebab now dah nak setahun benda ni jadi and covid was not that strange anymore, and the whole family kinda chill talking about this now (literally in all family gathering or makan makan, the moment we sit down the thing we would talk was nothing but covid) and I've asked my sister if she thinks it's okay to post about it and she said yes. So if things go sideways, blame her not me. Heh 

Aku bukan jenis bangun pagi baca news, my one and only source of news is twitter. So mcm around January aku tahu something was happening dekat China pasal new discovered virus. Then aku baca news pasal someone infected found dekat Malaysia. I was a bit panicky bcs of course I have loved ones at home, and pergi lecture the next day then jumpa kawan from hongkong and sgpore and we talked about the numbers (cs only Asian parts that was affected). Aku sedar it's bad bila my friend said she's gonna post few boxes of mask to her family sebab mask habis dekat sana.

Fast forward, chinese new year in February and tadaa covid was found in UK. The only reason i remember CNY bcs that was the very LAST social gathering that we had. After that we received email from Uni to call our patients and informed them that uni & our dental hospital was gonna be closed for god-knows-how-long bcs of covid. Masa tu aku sedar, okay benda dah teruk dekat UK. 

And then aku ni tinggal sorang, as in bukan duduk dengan another Msia but strangers (we barely know each other) in a shared flat. So masing masing akan beli grocery sendiri and masak sendiri. So aku pergi lah supermarket nak beli grocery, but the moment i stepped inside i was SO shocked. There were SOO many ppl dalam supermarket but all shelves were empty like KOSONG punya kosong. That never happened to me before, I almost cried in the supermarket LOOOOL as dramatic as I could be. 

Pictures of how everything was empty

Dia rasa mcm nak menangis sebab aku nampak depan mata how other ppl come with their family members tolak trolley and berebut pick up few last things on the shelves in rush for survival and there was me alone with a small basket, and i cant even amik something that I wanted sbb dah habis or other ppl dah amik depan mata. Rasa sorang, takda solid support system in a survival apocalypse movie mcm Hunger Games. I was texting my family members, showed them the picture of empty Sainsbury and cakap I was on the verge of crying bcs that was hella scary 😭

My family was like it's okay jangan nangis. Just grab whatever food I could find and balik. I realised I need to gather my shit together cs who else would do that for me LOL. I came back with unnecessary food yang selalu nya aku tak beli, bought just for the sake of just in case. I still remember the only spread yg aku jumpa was a cheap and copy version of nutella that taste NOTHING like nutella and I still have it inside my room sekarang, yikes. Tapi that time, as long as it's food then thats fine. I was so surprised beras pun takda, padahal british ppl barely eat rice on daily basis. Diaorg rice cooker pun takda. I was low on food stock but I was like takpa, still ada few packs of Maggie dgn serunding. 

Panic buying in UK.

It made sense for food stock to habis sbb that's essential. But for some reasons ppl panic buying tissue rolls like 3-4 bags per person. I was like??? Okay?? Kita boleh guna air, just saying. *laugh in malaysia*

I guess i subconsciously make my family members worried (LOL duh obviously after all the dramas kau buat syaheera??) The next day ayah suruh balik Malaysia ASAP, before Msia and UK close the border. But then exam aku nak dekat kot sebab masa tu aku dah ready my panic-revision timetable lol. (my asian traits triggered lmao in this bad pandemic still risau pasal exam OKAY ya rabbi😐). So aku tak nak balik selagi takda official statement from uni. Aku gelisah should i balik ke tak sebab things were getting worse. Then uni punya student support hantar email to check on international student. Aku reply tanya patut aku stay or balik. Then within few hrs, tutor aku reply and advise aku to balik and be with my family in this difficult times. Dah confirm semua exams and classes were gonna be online and would not gonna be a disadvantage to international students who are flying back

So aku terus call ayah and ayah suruh terus beli flight ticket. The soonest that I could find, katanya. And I swear that was the most impulsive of all of my impulse purchase. Ever. Flight ticket to Malaysia in less than 24 hours. AND IT WAS HELLA EXPENSIVE GILA BAPAK, mcm anak orang kaya tapi tak kaya pun terima kasih wahai syaheera tajuddin tak sia sia save duit tiap tiap bulan. It was not even a return ticket, that was one way ticket sbb impulse sangat aku malas nak fikir bila aku patut balik lol. 

In the airport & being anxious.

Nasib baik sangat, flight aku turned out sama dgn my friends from ireland so takda lah aku rasa balik sorang. Sempat choose tempat duduk sama-sama. Flight balik Msia full gila, everyone just wanted to be out of UK. Thats was probably the only time i can see msian all over the airport. 

A long flight but it was bearable w friends. 

Then when i was lining up to board from London, aku dapat msg from ibu. My atok who ady been hospitalised (we thought it was due to fatigue and old age), tested positive for covid. Masa tu tengah beratur ni tapi aku menangis macam orang gila. Ibu tiba-tiba video call and lagi lah aku menangis, bcs we didnt know how fatal covid can be. My extended family just had a wedding gathering so now everyone in the family yang pergi wedding needed to be tested for covid, literally everyone even the small kids. That made me felt even worse. 

So bila sampai, i have to be quarantined (it was early phase of covid so hotel quarantined takda lagi) so I used the first floor just for myself. Ibu ayah and Eeka duduk floor bawah and we never mixed & be in contact. First time balik msia takda siapa peluk :( we need to quarantined sbb bukan risau family aku need to be tested for covid je tapi aku ni pun yg baru balik uk and duduk dalam confined flight for 14hrs. So now anyone can have the virus at that time. 

We were waiting for the results for few days. Apparently, our extended family was one of the main kluster in Malaysia. Not as big as the first tabligh kluster, but not that small either. Aku ingat lagi baca ws extended family and one by one tested positive and kena amik dengan ambulance. Duk sorang dalam bilik with jetlag, takda benda nak buat just baca and tunggu updates was not helping with the anxiety. It was barely doable to quarantine at home/hotel, so to say being tested positive and quarantine in the hospital as horrible is definitely an understatement. Nasib baik I was not the only one left at home. Sehari taktau berapa kali nak nangis lol. Sumpah tak boleh bayangkan how to be sane kalau aku sorang dekat UK stuck dalam bilik with these overwhelming updates from the family.

Quarantine at home so all good, alhamdulillah. All food is specially package & left on the staircase lol

After around less than 2 weeks, everyone in our extended family yang kena tahan dekat hospital dah negative and boleh discharged. Alhamdulillah takda kematian. The only one that was very very severely affected was my atok. Tokyem was intubated, dalam ICU and admitted for few months sampai dapat bed sore teruk sangat. He was perfectly fine physically masa wedding, but sekarang bed-ridden. Doctor cakap it was a miracle for him to survive at his age. He is definitely a fighter, who is still fighting. Completely different, but still recovering. 

Masa atok dekat ICU, ibu merayu dekat nurse bagi aku jumpa atok. And I managed to go in one time, and ya Allah it was breaking my heart. It must be worse for ibu to see her abah in that condition. If I were her then I'll be bawling my eyes out and probably make a scene in the hospital. Sebab tu bila orang acting like covid is nothing will trigger the hell out of me cs I've seen how it can change one's life. 

Now that you've read this far, please keep my atok in your prayer for speedy recovery

Time time macam ni aku mmg ada trust issue dengan orang, sebab tu aku tak bgtau anyone apa jadi. The moment ppl know someone's is positive, they just want to be the first person to tell other 10 whatsapp group, and it's non-stop. Kalau nak bagitahu fact or closed people yang maybe jadi close contact takpa (kita boleh faham sebab risau so kena pergi test jugak ke etc), yang ni kenal pun tak pastu sampai di tokok tambah information. Di bukak facebook cari gambar orang yg positif dan diviral kan. So it's affecting them emotionally jugak. If you want rapid weight loss bcs of anxiety and emotional stress, maybe you can try tested positive and stay in hospital for a week. They say, it works like magic 😉

Our first time going out of home after 3 months LITERALLY inside the house. 

First time jumpa the kids after dah allow to visit another family

Hari Raya Aidilfitri, without Angah & Family sebab still tak boleh rentas negeri.

Incomplete but I still gonna appreciate my first raya in Malaysia after a while.

Lockdown dekat Malaysia dengan UK sangat lah berbeza. Dekat Malaysia sangat sangat sangat strict esp the early phase. Roadblock and polis were everywhere. Nak exercise? Exercise dekat rumah. Nak beli groceries? Ketua keluarga je. Positive? Ambulance datang angkut bawak pergi hospital. Baru balik drpd oversea? Quarantine dekat hotel. Taknak pakai mask? Saman. Dekat UK pulak human rights lagi penting drpd covid hahah. Takleh berjalan tapi takda roadblock takda police, just ada announcement bgtau je. Exercise jogging outdoor boleh tapi sorg/ same household. Positive tak tahan dekat hospital selagi takda breathing difficulty, quarantine je kat rumah senyap senyap. Pakai mask kalau masuk kedai or public transport je. 

The bright side of Covid: 1st time ramadan terawih dekat rumah ayah imam hari hari & tadarus dekat rumah

Pergi melaka visit Angah & family lepas boleh rentas negeri

Finally complete, hari raya aidiladha. 

Father's day celebration 

On the bright side, I got to spend 6 months in Malaysia. Probably cuti paaaaling panjang aku dapat. Selama ni summer break 3 minggu je. Cuti pompuan bersalin pun 3 bulan *tiba tiba.  Dapat celebrate Ramadhan and Raya with my family after idk how many years. We appreciate the little things we take for granted before. Just sayang sebab I've settled my paperwork and application nak buat elective dekat UM. Received £££ from Uni to do my elective. Tapi even brighter side, all exams were online padahal Year 4 exam was gonna be the worst hehe. So..... I'm not complaining 😉

Today in UK there are 53,135 cases, and few days ago they discovered a mutant covid strain here. 

My 2020 was all about family & self-development. Hope 2021 is gonna be a healing year. Hopefully it goes well with my study, and I can graduate on time this year. Happy new year everyone & take care 😊